this is an appreciation post for anyone who has ever tolerated me
we did it, we have reached a point in this heat wave where i am lying down wearing barely anything and dust is clinging to my skin and i have no motivation to do shit
meanwhile, my lap top is lagging and moving as slow as i feel
at least i got to write a little bit today
The apartment was silent, and that was never a good sign. Kieren’s hands began to shake as he closed the door behind him and clicked the lock into place. When there was life in the apartment, there was music. Always music. Guitar sounds, a haunting male voice resonating through the rooms. Maybe a record on. Maybe the laughter and abrasive crooning of a girl named Amy. When there was death in the apartment, there was silence. And before Kieren even saw him, Kieren knew what he would find.
Ah, there it was.
Simon was sitting on the couch. His head was slumped to one side. His eyes were half lidded. Nothing out of the ordinary. His sleeve was rolled up. His arm was tied with a shoe lace. His veins stood out, dark and straining. A needle was poked into the magic spot. A syringe dangled from the needle. He might even be dead this time, for real. Not just in theory. Tears tried to spring to Kieren’s eyes, but he swallowed and they went away.
He was far too used to this.
“Simon.” Kieren stroked the top of the boy’s head and Simon stirred, looking up at Kieren with pale eyes. He knew Simon didn’t really see him. Probably saw right through him. That was the part that bothered him the most. Simon called him incredible, beautiful. Simon said he couldn’t live without him. But those were apparently lies. Simon couldn’t live without smack.
“I’m leaving you.” Kieren said. He might have imagined the panic that quickly came over Simon’s face. The man didn’t move.
“Unless you stop. You’ve stopped three times. Let’s do it for real.” Kieren paused. “I’ll help you. But I’m going back home if you don’t stop. You aren’t even listening to me right now, but you don’t love me like you say you do.” Simon hadn’t even blinked. Kieren sighed.
“Let’s clean you up, then.”